***A personal post about a personal battle with hormones
I’m a pretty healthy person. I’ve always tried to be, but I
was also blessed with pretty decent genetics. I grew tall, I’ve got good blood
pressure and heart rate, I’ve been able to stay fit, I’ve got a good head of
hair… I am grateful for these things.
In October of 2009 I had what is called a torsion of my left
ovary. I cannot describe the pain. There was still a small amount of blood flow
going to the ovary, so a torsion was ruled out at the time of my first
ultrasound. I was told it was a kidney stone. Later I was told it was a tumor
growing on my ovary. When I finally saw a specialist, the doctor told me I had
a ruptured cyst, and that the pain would go away within another few days. He
made me feel very bad for complaining about extreme pain because cysts rupture
in women all the time. Yes, it’s painful, but essentially he told me to suck it
up. When he performed the ultrasound, my mom noted my ovaries looked like “Swiss
cheese.” The doc said those were all little cysts that would go away once I started
menstruating.
That evening I was back in the office unable to even walk.
The head doctor saw me and sent me straight in for surgery. Within 5 hours, my
life returned to normal. I was even able to keep the ovary.
Going back even farther, in 2006 I started to notice dark
hair on my neck and chin. I plucked them. Then I waxed them. By 2010 I was
having laser hair removal done with no results, and later started electrolysis.
It’s frustrating, having a beard. It was sometimes downright embarrassing.
In 2013 I finally saw a gynecologist in a non-emergent
situation to talk about my very irregular periods. I never knew if I would
start on day 32 or day 45. I never started early. My periods were never
regular. So between “swiss cheese” ovaries, hirsutism (the medical diagnosis
for excess hair on the body), irregular, spaced out periods, and after some
bloodwork, I was diagnosed with PCOS. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
What’s that? Well, basically my ovaries are hyperactive. Not
only am I producing way too much estrogen and progesterone, but I am also producing
way too much testosterone and DHEAS (a testosterone precursor). My Luteinizing
hormone levels were “unusually high,” meaning, much higher than even the high
end of normal for a post-menopausal woman. A quick physiology lesson:
Luteinizing hormone is responsible for ovulation. When it drops, the ovaries
release an egg (ovulate), and from there it can implant or a period can begin.
What does this mean? PCOS messes with so many hormones,
there are a lot of side effects. Hirsutism, type II diabetes due to insulin
resistance, depression, difficulty losing weight, heart disease, heavy and
painful periods, and infertility, to name the most common. I’ve learned to deal
with the facial hair, belly hair, etc. that comes along with it. I don’t have
insulin resistance, yet, thank goodness. I’ve been fairly fit my whole life, so
it’ll just be something I have to watch, although I've always had a "pooch" around my stomach (moreso than what people say is normal for a girl to have). The "pooch" is actually a characteristic also known to happen with PCOS. Depression will be addressed at a
later time, though it’s been mostly mild. My heart is still healthy. I’ve
always had very light periods (which threw the gyno for a loop when first
trying to diagnose me) but the only time they’ve ever been regular or
predictable was after I started on birth control. As for the infertility, I
have no clue. Some women with PCOS can get pregnant right away. Some need years
of fertility treatments and in vitro procedures. Some never get pregnant. Miscarriage is not uncommon for those with PCOS, maintaining a pregnancy with wacky hormones is harder than maintaining a normal pregnancy. PCOS
is the leading cause of infertility in women of childbearing age.
Since I started birth control, my hormone levels have
dropped to normal. Birth control actually suppresses the ovaries in its hormone
release because the ovaries no longer need to make the hormones. My periods are
now regular, but the body hair won’t go away.
When I was diagnosed, I felt relieved more than anything. I
finally had something that made sense. I understood why I grow extra hair, why
my periods have a 2 week start window, etc. In a more recent ultrasound for my
new doctor, the diagnosis was again confirmed. Many people know about my diagnosis, mostly family. Even more know my struggles with facial hair because after I became comfortable with me, I wanted to help others become comfortable with themselves. We can't always control our bodies, and body image is a struggle for many.
A couple of people have expressed concern over the fertility
issue for me. To be honest, I don’t really care. That may sound weird, but I
have a difficult time around kids. Babies make me uncomfortable. The plan is to
eventually start our own family. Even before we were married though, Rhett had
expressed a desire to adopt a child. I have always liked the idea of adoption,
but never thought about it seriously for myself. The more I thought about it,
the better I felt about it. It’s our plan now. We will one day adopt a child. I’ve
got a gut feeling that I will be able to get pregnant eventually, I just don’t know
how much work it will take. However, even if I never do get pregnant, I’m happy
with the thought that we will adopt. It just feels right.
And so, this ends my post about PCOS. The acronym to explain
my weird body. No one will experience it the same way I do, in fact, I am
extremely lucky in how mild my symptoms have been. Too bad symptoms don’t
indicate fertility levels or heart problems. Such is life.
Mary
Next time: Acronyms of mental health.
